You Know What I Mean?
by Acciopencil
Summary: When it's time for Scorpius to tell Ron Weasley that he's been dating his daughter since the Fifth Year, not everything goes exactly as planned. Written for the Harry Potter Quote Challenge.


**Challenge: **xHarryxGinnyxloveX's Harry Potter Quote Challenge

**Words: **1559

**Quote: **_"Bless him," said Ron fondly, "and when you think I used to fantasize about cutting off his head and sticking it on the wall."_

- Deathly Hallows, pg 236

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"You sure there's no backing down, Rosie?"

I turned to my girlfriend of 7 months, cursing softly as my voice betrayed my fear that I was desperate to hide.

Scorpius Hyperion Malfoy, courageous (and good-looking) beater of the Ravenclaw Quiditch team, and the one and only to start one of the biggest fist fights in First-Year Hogwarts history before the train even took off. But wimped out at the idea of telling Ron Weasley that I've been dating her daughter since the end of 5th year. Really, you couldn't blame me; that man had a fiery temper that matched his hair.

Now it was Rose Weasley's turn to face me. Her delicate lips were pursed in a small frown, and I tried not to wince as her intense gaze held mine for a fraction of a second . Even now, she could make me surrender with those piercing, blue eyes, just like 6 years ago when Al and I tried to copy off her homework. Believe me, we never tried that again; the look she gave me that day still gives me nightmares.

"You're the one that insisted that you should meet my family, Scorp," Rose pointed out, her words entirely true. Although I've talked to her parents plenty of times when Al invited me to have dinner over at the Potter house, it would be the first time meeting her family as her _boyfriend._ And meeting her dad as her _friend_, and meeting her dad as her _boy_friend were entirely different things.

"I guess," I admit. "But at that time the slight detail that your dad might murder me in my sleep, or bury me alive, completely slipped my mind."

Rose rolled her eyes. "No need to be such a little drama queen, Scorp. And I'm sure, there's no backing down now."

I guess she was right; there was no backing down. We were standing outside her parent's house, Rose's hand practically poised to twist the door knob that was the barrier between life and a new world of screaming, red-hair demons... Although the bushes besides the sidewalk did look awfully comfy right now; I could always dive into them and escape my fate for at least a few more seconds.

Before I had even extended my legs to jump, Rose had grabbed my wrist and pulled me through the doorway.

_Nooo-oooo-ooooo_

It was like in those Muggle movies, where every everything is in slow motion and the person's "no" is drawn out in a slow, awful, dramatic monotone with spit flying out of their writhing lips, because that's exactly what I thought when we entered her house. I hastily made sure that my lips weren't spewing out spit before I was dragged into the dining room with a last reproachful look from Rose.

I had to admit, for a red-haired, malicious, _sure-to-kill-a-guy-who-even-looked-at-her-daughter_ monster, Ron Weasley looked pretty normal. Sitting at the table, seeming oh-so-non-monster-like drinking a cup of coffee and skimming over the Daily Prophet while his wife prepared breakfast and Fifth-Year son Hugo, two years younger than Rose, sat playing a Muggle contraption called a "DS".

"How was Albus's house, Rosie? Did you have a good time?"

I nearly jumped at the sound of Ron Weasley's voice. I had expected a strangled, demonic scream. But I realized no one had yet noticed me by Rose's side. They were all preoccupied at their activities; Mrs. Weasley looking over the breakfast while her hair grew slightly more bushy from the thick stream; Mr. Weasley glaring at the newspaper for whatever lies they were printing out that day; and Hugo, burning eyes into the game screen like it would help him blow up the aliens that were destroying his player.

I wished it would stay like that forever. No one noticing me. So I could inch-by-inch slide out the room, into the entry way, and out the front door. Gone. POOF! So Scorpius Malfoy can be the coward he is and not face his girlfriend's father.

But that never happened. Because at that moment, Mrs. Weasley turned around, a plateful of eggs, rolls, sausage, and pancakes piled on top of each other, and saw me standing awkwardly by Rose's side.

"Scorpius!" she beamed, her motherly eyes sparkling as she finally noticed my presence. "I didn't notice you, dear. Would you like something to eat?"

My face flushed as all Weasley faces snapped up to face me.

"Um, yeah. I guess," I said, then reached out and grabbed the roll she was handing it to me, and crammed the whole thing in my mouth. The longer I could avoid talking, the better.

But unfortunately this plan didn't turn out so well. I doubled over, eyes bulging and coughing, a large piece of roll lodged in my throat. The next couple of minutes were filled with spitty pieces of roll sprayed over the floor, a panicking Rose who starting performing a very painful version of Heimlich (more like a death grip), then finally remembered to preform magic to remove the roll, but left me with my eyes streaming with tears.

"Maybe next time take smaller bites, Scorpius," Mrs. Weasley said kindly a few minutes later, as everyone turned back to what they had been doing before, and gave me a reassuring pat on the back which only started another round of coughing.

I managed to nod mutely, avoiding Rose's gaze, who was glaring at me like I had chocked on purpose to put off telling her dad. Of course not. But it worked out just fine.

I let out a wince as I received a soft kick at my ankle. Rose. Obviously she was trying to tell me _hurry-up-or-you'll-get-much-worse. _I love Rose, but I've collected enough bruise_s _to last a life time. I might as well get it over with.

"Mr. and Mrs. Weasley?" I asked hesitantly, staring at the wooden table which had suddenly become fascinating.

"Yes, dear?" came Rose's mum reply, followed by a half-grunt-noise by Mr. Weasley.

"What would you think about...wait, no. I know how to explain this. Okay, so say there was this cute little tabby cat that had shiny fur and the cutest little nose any one had ever seen. And then there was this other cat, right? Named, I don't know, like Whiskers. And then Whiskers happened to be the cute tabby cat's cousin. But here's where it gets interesting. So, one day Whiskers was meowing along and he said to this devilishly-handsome Siamese cat who was also his best friend, _'Why don't you date my tabby cousin? You guys are both attracted to eachother.'_ And then the devishly-handsome Siamese was like, _'Um. Sure.'_ Are you following me here, guys? You don't want to miss this. So then he asked her out, and at first it was kind of like awkward because they were, like, best cat mates, you know? And then like, BAM, they knew they were meant for eachother. But the pretty tabby cat forced the devilishly-handsome Siamese to talk to her parents, and before you know it he was spewing mice all over the place and telling this hypothetical story that isn't making sense...You know what I mean?"

A piece of bacon had halted right at Mr. Weasley's mouth, like he had forgotten he was holding it. Mrs. Weasley was giving me a perplexed look, that altered between concern and confusion. Hugo with his Gameboy hanging at his side, the aliens taking advantage of his absence and destroying the whole virtual country, and even Rose was staring at me, her mouth hanging open.

All four faces stared at me blankly.

I blushed. They were making this much more harder than it needed to be. "Maybe if I use dragons instead... -"

"No!" Rose interrupted me, giving me an exasperated look and rolled her eyes. She place one hand on my shoulder, and faced her parents. "What Scorpius is _trying_ to say is that... we're dating."

"Yeah." Was my voice normally that high? "What she said."

I smiled weakly at Mrs. Weasley, who returned the smile with a bright beam - at least there was one parent I didn't need to worry about. Taking a deep breath, I looked at Mr. Weasley. No death-avenging scream. No lunges to murder me. But just to be safe...

I reached down in the pocket of my robes and pulled out a shiny bottle and handed it out to him. "It's golblin-made mead. It's my dad's favorite, but it's very expensive. I thought you would like to have some." _You know, as a bribe, or a peace-treaty. So you don't kill me._

It was silence for a few moments, like the whole world was holding their breath. And then - a hearty laugh from the great Ron Weasley.

"I know a bribe when I see one, son," Mr. Weasley said; not roughly, but in amusement. He gave me a grin, and clapped me on the shoulder. "But who am I to pass up a good bribe?" He took the bottle from my shaky hands, and polished the bottle with his shirt. "Beautiful. Take care of my Rosie, Scorp."

He turned to his wife and gave her a peck on the cheek. "Bless him," said Ron fondly, "and when you think I used to fantasize about cutting off his head and sticking it on the wall."

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**So the moment I got this quote, I instantly thought Rose/Scorpius. :) How could I not?**

**So, how did you like it? Love it? Hate it? Tell me what you think!**

_**By the way, I changed my username. I was formerly known as "TiannaPotter" if any of you guys are confused!**_


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